Happy Anniversary
by InternetJDWizard
Summary: A continuation of FF7, one year after the death of Aeris--my first writing here...any comments are welcome!
1. Cloud

The Temple of Ancients rose high into the skyline, a silent monument of mourning--a pyramidal tomb. The sun crested low on the horizon, enclosing the sky in a brilliant, bronze shell, turning the clouds to tufts of floating fire. The forest around me lay uncannily silent, devoid of its usual busy movement. 

The sun had completed its decent below the vista when at last I reached the stone stairway that rose to the entrance high atop the pyramid. The climb, though grueling, took little time; or, rather, my mind was elsewhere, and I did not remember climbing for an extended period of time. The wind blew softly at the top of the Temple, whispering to my ear the secrets of the Ancients, telling me their forgotten story, and caressing my skin. Fall was overthrowing Summer as the season's king, and the scents of autumn wrapped their tendrils into the breeze, a welcome aroma. The stars broke free of their daytime prisons and illuminated the night with their soft, diamond-like glow. 

A cold draft emanated from the door-less entry in front me. Darkness seemed to poor from it, cut only by a faint luminescence whose origin came somewhere from deep inside the Temple. The closer I move to the gaping mouth, the colder and darker the night became. Ignoring the cold and dark, I traveled on, down the sloping passage that led into the depths of the Temple of Ancients. 

-*-*- 

The condition of the chamber was no different presently than it had been when he had last been there. The altar lay behind the wall, in the secret room they had discovered a year ago. Water ran around it, and out into the sea, it, of all things, the most unchanged of memory of all. I scanned the chamber, and came across the spot on the altar where she had knelt. Though the blood was gone, a stain had remained, a reminder of the murder that had occurred there. 

Then, suddenly, I was back--back to the day when Aeris had died. The horror flooded my body, vines of fear taking control of my conscience, stifling my breath and paralyzing my limbs. Sephiroth stalked up behind her, silent as a snake. He flashed me a devilish grin, a smile so completely evil it was burned into my memory. Tifa screamed, but it was too late. Aeris continued her prayer, oblivious to the monster and his murderous intentions. He drew his sword, the legendary six-foot Masamune, and held it high above her back. Anger burned away the self-restraining fear, flowing through my veins like lava. My legs moved instantaneously, exploding with built-up anticipation. 

Sephiroth lunged forward, plunging the sword into her back. Aeris sucked a short, high-pitched breath into her lungs. She buckled, her body jolting in surprise. The sword emerged from her chest, crimson with blood, shimmering sickly with red sheen. Aeris slumped forward, her life drained. She slid down the sword's length, thumping into the ground with a dull thud, a pool of blood to match the sword creeping from beneath her. I watched from outside my body, watched as it ran to Sephiroth. He turned to me, and removed his sword from Aeris' lifeless body, and instantly he was above me. I looked up to him, the dark angel with the silver hair and glacier cold eyes. Once, he had befriended me. A long time ago, he had been my only console. He had been my hero, a man who I had thought was perfect. As he laughed at me with cruelty, I looked into his eyes; the man they had once belonged too had fled. Only a crazed maniac hungry for destruction and death presided in the cold wastelands of blue-green of his eyes. 

His smile widened as I finally managed to release a scream, a pain-rimmed echo in the dead silence of the chamber. He floated above me, far beyond my reach. I watched as he floated up--up and up, and finally dissolved into the very air around him. I whipped around and my eyes focused on Aeris. SHE was an angel. No, she had been an angel. I was overwhelmed by the grief that washed over me. It smothered me, a pillow of emotions suffocating me, preventing me from breathing. She lay crumpled in her bloodstained clothes, with no movement or sound issuing from her body. I knelt beside her, rolled her over. Her light, playful green eyes were empty, deficient of life. Already she was cold, the Masamune draining every bit of warmth she had contained. 

I was standing on the altar now, kneeling as I had when she died. Oh I missed her...My heart had been deformed that day, changed by the ruthlessness of reality. I had known her only a few days, and I had loved her more than I loved anything else I could imagine. I still loved her. I loved her playful, mischievous smile. I loved her beautiful, dancing eyes. I loved the way her hair had curled at the ends, and reminded me of strands of gold. I loved how warm she had been, how caring and laid-back and optimistic and curious and naïve and intelligent and giving and playful and helping and beautiful. I had loved her dimples, and her soft hair. I had loved her eyes, and even her big nose. I loved everything about her. 

I slumped to the ground and cried on the altar today, on the anniversary of her death, just as I had a year ago, today. I could feel her presence--she was there. Somewhere from within the Lifestream, she was reaching out to me, touching my sub-conscience. I felt her happiness and fell in love with it all over again. 

Exhaustion set in. Slowly, I began to ebb away, drifting into the world of dreams. Aeris...I thought, where are you now? Do you still think of me, as I do of you? Do you still love me? Will you wait for me...? Someday...I received no answers. I stopped fighting to stay awake, and the gods of sleep cast their spells upon me. 


	2. Tifa

Often he awoke, in the darkest hours of the night, screaming her name in the pain brought only by the yearning and anxiety caused of being forbidden your only want. Sweat would erupt from every pore on his skin, face, arms and bare chest gleaming in the sullen moonlight. He would whimper like a starving puppy, the tears of unmatchable loss that he withheld during the day breaking their forced bonds. I would hold his trembling body in my arms and sing her song. Soon his fears would lessen, and he would fall back into the world that contained his mysterious, disturbing dreams. I would stay awake then, in case he aroused again. I would gaze at his face, watch the light dance across it. I would play with his unkempt golden hair, wrapping it around my fingers, running them through it. I would lay on his chest and steal his warmth, wondering why he would not love me as he did her. The question haunted me until the dawn came, and then I would rise and begin my day. 

After Cloud defeated Sephiroth, and Meteor was destroyed by the powers of Holy, we had traveled to the shoreline city of Costa Del Sol. Cloud had been permanently scarred. At first, I thought he had lost his mind. For days he did not speak, did not seem to hear any sounds. He went off on his own, staring for hours at the ocean, his eyes veiled, and fuzzy, as if he were staring past the material world, into another dimension. He slept none, or if he did, I never saw him do so. It was as if he was a walking corpse. 

Then, one day, as he sat staring into the ocean as he did regularly then, I stood in front of him, and looked into his sapphire eyes. I stared until I found him, lost inside himself, wandering hopelessly, searching for what no longer existed. I called out to him; I pulled him back into his mind. "I love you..." I told him. He jerked his head back, as if awakened from a daydream, and smiled at me. In the blink of an eye, he was asleep, catching up for all his restless nights. 

Yesterday was the anniversary of Aeris' death. I recall it vaguely; for some reason, it seemed to be hidden behind the mists and fogs of my memory. I remember Sephiroth creeping up slowly behind her and stabbing her in the back. I remember screaming; a blood curdling scream that hurt my own ears. I remember Cloud's face; the pure, unconcealed shock; the fire behind his eyes that consumed his reasoning and sanity as fuel. I remember him holding her, confused and horrified. 

But most of all, I remember my own emotions. Thinking back to that day, I am ashamed I ever called myself a friend of Aeris. I had been angry, and relieved and frustrated at her death. Angry because she was gone, but because of Cloud, angry because he loved her so much. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at her, feel it whenever he talked about her. I was relieved because my only competition had been eliminated; the only choice he had now was me. Lastly, I was frustrated at the fact that he did not love me like he loved her; even her death would not change that fact. I had cried for Aeris. But not because she had died--because I was jealous of her. Because I wanted what she had with Cloud. 

The days before the anniversary where terrible for Cloud. His dreams became more frequent and more violent, and, much to my concern, lasted much longer. I tried to comfort him, but as it had always been, I was of no console to him. The morning of the one-year date, he left without a word, giving me a peck on the cheek. I knew where he was going; it was not hard to guess. 


	3. Aeris

Pain sprinted through my chest for an instant, a decisive longing that throbbed uncontrollably. The feeling, though welcome, was almost instantaneously gone, the Lifestream stealing it away, not allowing such an emotion to survive in its flow. Hurt was exiled from its rivers, happiness being the only thing it desired for its subjects. It had endured pain—it knew the feeling intimately—and refused to let its children experience it. Perhaps it was too naïve to understand that a life on Earth was a life of pain, hurt, and disappointment; nonetheless, it wrapped its green appendages around my mind, stealing the sensation away.  
  
'Let me be!' I proclaimed angrily with my mind, enraged at the thievery. 'I wish only to feel what he feels…only that will make me happy.' The tendrils hesitated, still probing through my consciousness, but with indecisiveness. I began to fume, and they quickly released me, the somber loneliness returning.  
  
My death had been of little surprise to me. The concept had never scared me, the knowledge of its date had not deterred my determination, and the execution had not been painful. No—that is untrue; it had been painful. That day I had lost my physical form, and access to the only thing that mattered to me on the Earth: Cloud. As the Lifestream had embraced me with warm welcome, singing my name and whispering knowledge into my ears. I had returned the embrace, longing to be one with my kind. However, as my life and its accomplishments ran through my mind, a final review of my physical existence, I saw Cloud, and my willingness to go soundly into the stream halted.  
  
But it had been too late then; I was sucked into the stream unwillingly, my life taken from me without inquisition. Now I was here in the Lifestream, trapped forever in the green nothingness of existence without form. I watched everyday as Cloud went about his life with Tifa, forced to watch him until his own death brought him to me.  
  
Emotions were the key to keeping your sanity in the Lifestream. With them, you could peer into the world, view whomever you wished, and, if the feeling was strong enough, communicate with them through their dreams. Thankfully, I had been a passionate person during my time on the Earth, so I had plenty to choose from. With humor, I could see Cid and Yuffie, their sarcastic buffoonery ever-present day to day. With pity, I could watch Vincent, the silent crusader who yearned to learn his identity, repay his debts and find a place to belong. With seriousness, I saw Barret, the constant pessimist who watched everyone's back. With friendship, I could see Tifa, her unconditional geniality extending to everyone who met her. But most importantly, with love, I could see Cloud.  
  
I called to him in the dreams, beckoned for him to come to me. I flashed images of our reunion, the day when we would be together in the Lifestream, together at last. I sang my song to him, the soft melody echoing throughout the very current of the stream. I would come to him in a shadow of my former self, smiling with reassurance. 'When will I feel you again Aeris? When will I be able to hold you in my arms again?' he would ask. I could never answer, but my smile would disappear, and a crystal-white tear would slide down my face, plummeting into the grass below. Cloud would reach out and try to wipe my face, only to find that I was gone, dissolved back into green. 


	4. Tifa

"So…is Tifa your girlfriend, Cloud?"  
  
I stood at the top of the steps peering into the darkness, listening to the voices wafting up from the dimly lit room below. A burst of excitement raced through my mind as I awaited the answer to the question the girl had asked. Anxious seconds passed and no response emerged from the gloom. I descended the stairs a short ways, and stared curiously around the corner.  
  
Cloud stood awkwardly in front of Aeris, the new female companion we had acquired. She was an exquisite sight; her silky brown hair flowed down her back and shoulders like a cape, and her amazingly bright green eyes sparkled with spontaneity and happiness. She wore a blood-red skirt, with a ribbon in her hair to match. Cloud had his back turned to me, but I knew the confused look he bore upon his face.  
  
Regret flooded my mind as I pictured his expression: His eyes were wide with surprise, two separate, stormy oceans of blue. His forehead was a wrinkled desert of doubt as he frowned at Aeris. His mouth was down-turned with surprise, and his cheeks drooped as his scowl pulled at them.  
  
"No!"  
  
The answer had been inevitable, I knew. Optimism is probably the greatest heartbreaker for hidden loves. I made my way back up the stairs to my perch on the stop step, drooping onto the cold cement when I reached it. I saw the love that Cloud himself had not yet discovered, buried in his eyes. When he looked at her, everything else in the world disappeared, and she was all that mattered. Whenever he talked about her, his emotions amplified a thousand times over and his excitement grew. He loved her and he didn't know it yet.  
  
I put my head in my hands and let the familiar despair overtake me. I knew that Cloud was the only one I could ever love. The rare times when he smiled made my heart cartwheel in my chest, and caused me to beam along with him. When he spoke to me, I listened with my entire being, devouring his words with attention. His comings and goings made me infinitely happy and miserably sorrowful. His presence was a necessity for my emotional survival, and the absence of it caused my soul to ache with explicit incompletion.  
  
As Aeris and Cloud created a bond stronger than any I could ever create in the basement of Don Cornell's mansion, I stood on the landing and cried. Life was a cruel dealer, and it had dealt me a hand of especially heartless circumstances.  
  
---------  
  
Once, in my disheartenment, I concluded that Aeris was the one who sent me such reminiscing dreams. I had thought she was jealous. Though she would always hold his heart, any worldly happiness he might experience belonged to me. But I convinced myself that she was not capable of such an evil, and ignored it. Whatever the case, my eavesdropping moments came back to haunt me often, asleep or awake.  
  
Cloud was gone for seven days. During that time, no dreams of the two disturbed my sleep. 


	5. Aeris

He was searching for me. I could feel it. The anniversary of my death always brought Cloud to the City of Ancients--to my watery grave. He would kneel at the waters edge, lightly run his fingers across the top of the pool, scouring his mind for memories of me. Whenever he did, I could sense it; this was one of those times.  
  
As he reached out for me, I did the same, extending my my love as a tidal wave of comfort. But the Lifestream would not have it. The green snakes would engulf any communication with the conscious Cloud, and all he would recieve was an empty heart.  
  
I didn't blame the Lifestream for discommunicating Cloud and I. If it allowed me to talk to him, anything might go through his mind--anything contained within the stream. Potentially, I could let Sephiroth enter Cloud's body and create another maniac--something that the green river feared.  
  
But that wouldn't stop me from trying. I would never give up my struggle to be with Cloud, never stop caring for him. And yet fate seemed to have purposes for us that did not include our union. Before Cloud was able to enter the Lifestream, I would be leaving it. 


	6. Cloud

Cloud was getting old. Not in age, of course; his unruly hair was still as blonde as it had been three years ago, his frame as buff as it could be for a man as skinny as him. But he was old inside. He could smell it, an odor not detectable by anyone around him, a musk of decayed thoughts, broken dreams and shattered hopes. The bright keenness that his eyes had possessed was gone, frozen into a sea of unbreakable blue ice.  
  
Each day he grew wearier of the world and its glaringly obvious problems, hated even more his meaningless existence on the tiny blue planet that traveled its meaningless path in a meaningless galaxy for the meaningless scheme of nature. He had had something to live for, significance, when he was fighting against Sephiroth, when he was searching for the identity that had been stolen away from him so many years ago…when he was avenging Aeris. But all that meant nothing, now. Sephiroth was long gone, just another lost soul that belonged now to the pulsing green rivers of the Lifestream; his identity had been found, but he would rather have kept it lost forever than live with it; and Aeris was unattainable. There was nothing for him to live for anymore, nothing left for him to defend in the world—nothing for him to love. Well, no…there was one person.  
  
But she didn't understand him, and he couldn't make her; it would break her heart into a thousand pieces. He could never do that to her. But he couldn't stay here. He couldn't stay away from Aeris; he had to take the chance. If he could see her for even a moment during his passing, he would not have gone in vain.  
  
He pulled out a pen and sat down at the desk in their room, and started to write on a piece of paper. For three hours the paper had nothing but two words on it, but before the morning dawned, he finished.  
  
  
  
Dear Tifa:  
  
I'm not good enough for you. You love me…but I can't love you back. I know I hurt you, everyday, every single time I see you, I hurt you. I'm sorry. Even though I could never show it…I love you, too…just not in the way you want me too. I hope you'll be able to see that. I hope you'll be able to find someone else, someone who knows how to treat you the way you deserve, someone who can fill the holes in you that I created. I hope you can understand why I have to hurt you this one last time.  
  
Do me one last favor? Don't miss me.  
  
Goodbye, Tifa. I love you.  
  
Cloud 


End file.
